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A 20 year old Film + TV student from Middlesbrough.

Friday 11 February 2011

Second Draft Of Poem

As I lie here waiting;
Waiting alone;
Alone in this bed;
I dream;
Dream of memories;
Friends and family long forgotten;
My first love;
I remember my grandfather;
His ramblings;
And how he used to make me laugh;
I remember the words he said to me;
“Arthur”, he said;
“Always remember;”
“A man is not truly rich unless he is blessed with love;”
At first I laughed and brushed him off;
The old fool was always rambling about nothing;
Why should I have listened?;
Oh, how I wish I did;
I loved once;
Ah, Eleanor;
How I miss you;
How I wish I could hear your comforting voice;
As I lie here alone waiting;
We met in school;
I was but a child of thirteen;
We met in the playground;
One December afternoon;
From that day on we never parted;
We were wed in a quaint chapel in Whitby;
‘Twas a beautiful ceremony;
Then came the worst moment of my life;
A moment which changed my life forever;
She was diagnosed with cancer;
They gave her six months to live;
Six months;
The days went by;
While we waited;
Waited;
Every day I hoped that the doctor was wrong;
Every day I watched her grow weaker;
And weaker with each passing breath;
Despite this she seemed happy and at peace;
I never understood why;
Maybe it was because of faith;
Or maybe it was because even though the future looked bleak;
And even though she would leave before her time;
She had no reason to be sad;
As she had me;
On that fateful winter afternoon in December;
The same afternoon we met;
Twenty-five years later;
She slipped away peacefully;
And with a smile on her face;
I never loved again;
The only love I had was the money;
Over the years I lost friends;
I didn’t need them;
I was rich, what more could I need;
Plus it wouldn’t change anything;
It wouldn’t bring her back;
I lie here in bed wishing I had someone here with me;
What use is money when you have nobody else in the world?;
Nobody to talk to;
Nobody to listen;
Nobody to comfort me as I wait;
There are doctors here;
But all they do is examine me;
Check my heart and blood;
To see if I still live;
I may live physically;
But I died long ago;
The years went by as I watched others slip away;
My grandfather, my mother and my father;
I look out the window and see the night sky;
The darkness;
I begin to ponder at what lies ahead;
Is there a heaven?
A hell?
Will I see my Eleanor again?
Or will I just slip away into permanent darkness?
I wait and I wait;
I hear the branches tapping against the window;
Blowing in the wind with a fit of rage;
The rain pouring outside like a blitzkrieg;
The thunder and lightning;
Booming and flashing;
Perforating my thoughts:
Oh why couldn’t it have been me instead?
Why Eleanor?
Why couldn’t I move on and tried to be happy?
I have no-one;
Nobody cares about a miserable old miser like me;
Nobody;
The storm is getting louder;
An owl is perched on a tree;
Staring at me;
Staring into my soul;
Oh why do you mock me?;
Leave me alone;
Dark shadows pass my eye;
I hear everything;
The doctors on their midnight rounds;
Their footsteps getting louder and louder;
Echoing in the darkness;
The dripping of the tap;
Louder and louder;
Faster and faster;
The storm is raging;
It’s getting colder;
My body is freezing;
The owl is still there watching;
And waiting for something to happen;
Just staring at me;
I feel tired;
Everything’s slowing down;
The owl is still there
Staring, staring;
The grim spectre of death is watching over me;
As I lie here waiting;
Waiting....

 I have timed this and it clocks in at 5 minuteds and 5 seconds.

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